


Gnawing Itself In Bitterness

by WarriorEowyn



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Halls of Mandos, loud and vain and endlessly repeating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarriorEowyn/pseuds/WarriorEowyn
Summary: A glimpse of Fëanor in the Halls of Mandos.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Gnawing Itself In Bitterness

It was all the fault of the Valar. Ever had they sought to thwart him, to deny him, to destroy him.

_Freely ye may depart_, they said, while using their lackeys to deny him the only path to departure. They had neither the will nor the courage to oppose him openly, no more than they had to fight Morgoth, but they would use their pets to stand in his way, to repay friendship and generosity with cold rejection. And then blame _him_ when he sought to take what was needed, and lay a curse on him for doing what they dared not, for raising his hand against the destroyer, the _murderer_, the _thief, _whom they had released and welcomed as kinsman.

He knew their reasons, their envy and their fear. They had ever hated that one of the Quendi could equal them, could surpass their own works. Even their praise was only a way of laying claim to his treasures. They had driven him from his city and his people, placing the usurper on Finwë’s throne, a tame Vanya whom they could could use to quiet the Nolder, to keep his people leashed and caged.

_Usurper._ His traitorous half-brother had caused Fëanáro’s exile, wearing a mask of friendship and mildness while he stole the rule of the Noldor from the Noldor. He was the reason Finwë had been exiled from his own city, had been present at Formenos at the Darkening, had been murdered by Morgoth while the other Valar lured Fëanáro away. He had claimed he would follow Fëanáro and had lied through his teeth, stealing the loyalty of the greater part of the Noldor even as Fëanáro led them to freedom, forcing him to leave behind those who could not be trusted, leaving him with too few forces to prevail in Beleriand. If he had not stolen Fëanáro’s people, they would have arrived in Beleriand as one, with enough force to overthrow Angband, destroy Morgoth, and reclaim Fëanor’s creations. Fëanor would have reigned in Beleriand, sole possessor of the true Light. 

And if it were not enough to have stolen Fëanáro’s people, Nolofinwë had stolen the crown in earnest, aided by Fëanáro’s idiot firstborn. He had known the boy was weak, disloyal, when first took Nolofinwë’s part upon landing in Middle-earth, seeking to bring the Usurper’s army across the sea. Then he had proved himself fool as well as traitor, for anyone could see that there was no gain in attempting to treat with Morgoth the Accursed. The refusal of the crown and the kingship, passing it to the Children of Indis, was only a way to spite Fëanor, and even that was not worst betrayal from the son who had at the last destoyed Fëanor’s great treasure, casting it beyond sight or use into the fires of the earth. Maitimo had hated him. It was the only explanation.

The Usurper had stolen still more. Fëanáro had said before all the people that he himself would fight Morgoth and do him such injury that even the Valar would wonder at it. And so he would have, had he the full army of the Noldor behind him. He had lost that chance, thanks to Nolofinwë, and Nolofinwë had claimed the deed and the fame that should have been Fëanáro’s. Yet he had died in the end under Morgoth’s foot. Fëanáro would have done better. The Valar had not even cared enough about their pet to save him; his only reward for his loyalty to them was a tomb.

Indeed, the Valar had never cared for the Noldor at all; had hated them, once they refused to be tame. They desired Fëanáro’s treasures, as all people did, greatest of the works of Arda; they had intervened against Morgoth only when one was stolen and brought to them. Only when the Noldor were weakened and broken enough by the Valar’s curse that they would submit.

He would never submit. He had nothing to say to any of them - not to the Valar, not to the Usurper, not to his children who had failed and blackened his house’s name in their failure, not to his fool of a grandson who had served Morgoth’s lackey. Though everyone around him had betrayed and failed him, they would never break his will.

It was all the fault of the Valar....


End file.
